The Hardest thing
by yumekoSCD
Summary: One Shot. Ever wonder how Rei Mamoru felt in the First Season? Was it only destiny?


**Disclaimer: **Sailor Moon is copyright © 1992 Naoko Takeuchi/Kodansha, TOEI Animation. The Hardest Thing © 98 Degrees. Due to the fact the lyrics are copyright, I will not be inserting them. Sorry for any inconvenience.

Summary: Ever wonder how Rei Mamoru felt in the First Season? Was it only destiny?

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The Hardest thing

" Mamo-c..Mamoru-chan, do you love me?" Rei asked. She know she can't call him by the nickname she gave him anymore. Until this is solved, Mamo-chan's for Usagi to use.

It was the day after Ann and Ail left. When Mamoru left the apartment, Usagi was still sleeping. Mamoru wrote Usagi a note letting her know he went for a run.

He had started running and somehow, end up at Hikawa Shrine. Rei was already up and sweeping the leaves and the two finally decided to talk it out. It was about time. The had to talk about it. It wasn't fair to drag this out any long. Whatever the decision, Rei will deal with it later.

"Rei-chan..."Mamoru started to say after a moment of hesitation. "I do. I mean I did."

"Did?" Rei choked the words out. She realized at that moment, she lost. She had really lost this battle to Usagi.

Mamoru know the words he just spoke had hurt Rei, but it was better this way. It was better she hurt a little now then down the road. What he said was partly true, but also partly a lie. He loved and still love Rei in a way, but he couldn't let her know the truth. It was killing Mamoru to have to look at Rei in the eyes and lie. It was the hardest thing to have to lie to Rei-chan when he still cared and loved.

"Rei-chan, you deserve better." Mamoru murmured. It was the truth.

Rei scoffed at what Mamoru just said. "What a joke, Rei thought. Destiny was playing a cruel joke with her heart, and it was breaking into a million pieces.

"I'm sorry. It's just that...Usagi needs me..."

"And I don't?" Rei cut Mamoru off with the question.

"Rei-chan, you are stronger. Much stronger than Usagi." Mamoru said， only half believing himself. "Not only does Usagi needs me, Serenity also needs Endymion."

"Serenity and Endymion. Destiny, I hate it all." Rei declared. she continued while sobbing, "I wished I was just a regular human, no power, not Sailor Mars. Perhaps then, we could be together."

"But it's not, and we both need to realize that and move on."Rei nodded in understanding while she sobbed.

It was hard for him to look into Rei's eyes and not show emotion while she sobbed.

"It isn't fair." Rei said. "You are suppose to be my boyfriend. I'm the one you shared karate classes with you. I'm the one you are going out with, but because of destiny..."

"It's more than that, I think." Mamoru stopped Rei from saying more. "At first, when we first found out back in Beryl's location, I thought it was just due to the past. But Usak, I mean Usagi's been good to me...If it had been another life..."

There was a pregnant pause before Mamoru went on,"...Fate's cruel. I'm so sorry you were caught in this. You are right, it isn't fair."

You deserve better, better than what I can give you，Rei-chan, Mamoru thought but didn't dare to say it outloud.

"I suppose I should be glad we had those happy times together. I think, no, I know I will always love you Mamoru-chan. But I suppose it just wasn't meant to be. We weren't meant to be."Rei said, wiping the last tears away with her hands. "I hope you'll make each other happy, because if not...You should go..."

"I'm sorry Rei-chan." Mamoru whispered, giving Rei a peck on the lips for the last time, then turned and walked away.

"Me too, Mamo-chan. Me too..." Rei whispered while she silently cried her heart out. It would be the last time she would call him by that pet nickname. It was now only for Usagi to use. It was the hardest thing to let go, but fate was cruel and there wasn't anything she could do about it.

I hope she know how lucky she is, Rei thought as she walked up the steps that would lead into the Hikawa shrine.

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"These characters, Rei, Seiya, it's much harder for them. Becuase they are in love with a person they can never have." - Yumeko

**You know you love me. **

**Until next time,**

**XOXO**

**SCD**

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